Posted by: Mad Ness Monster | 02/16/2011

“Tommy Tricker and the Stamp Traveler” review

Once upon a time, in the magical land of Canada, the film production company, Les Productions la Fête started the Tales for All series of children’s films and books.  And while I do not know what Canadian children thought about these movies, I do know that when these films started filtering into places where American children could watch them, the general consensus was, “What the hell, Canada?”

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Once upon a time, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences created the Best Animated Feature category for the Academy Awards. 

This has made a lot of people upset and is generally regarded as a bad move.

Seriously, though. Reaction to the Best Animated Feature Oscar was and is still mixed.  On the one hand, the fact that this happened shortly after “Beauty and the Beast” was nominated for Best Picture did not go unnoticed, and it felt like animation was being relegated to a sort of “kids’ table”.  On the other hand… … … I don’t know how to end that sentence.

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Posted by: Mad Ness Monster | 01/19/2011

“Stardust” (1998) Review

A wiser critic than I had a rating system that included the assessment, “Will require therapy after viewing.”  That certainly applies in the case of “Stardust”.  I thought I was going to be reviewing an abysmally stupid kids’ movie and I wound up watching… something else.  But I am getting ahead of myself.
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Posted by: Mad Ness Monster | 01/05/2011

“Magic in the Water” Review

Even after all these years, dear Ness-keteers, nothing really satisfies like a woefully misguided childrens’ film.  Which is why I am happy that I finally found “Magic in the Water”.  The subject matter has a certain appeal anyway (ahem), but the whole movie is so hilariously, awesomely inappropriate that it was like a gift from Quetzalcoatl.

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Posted by: Mad Ness Monster | 12/21/2010

Last Minute Gift Guide 2010!

Oh, you love the annual Gift Guide!  I love the annual Gift Guide!  What crazy crap did I dig up in my adventures this year?
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Posted by: Mad Ness Monster | 12/15/2010

“The Raccoons and the Lost Star” Review

My story that goes along with this special isn’t all that interesting, but I’m sharing it anyway.  I swore I saw this ball of confusion around Christmas on the Disney Channel, and I was ecstatic to find it on YouTube.  Then I gradually realized that I was mixing it up it with a very different Christmas special involving these characters.
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Posted by: Mad Ness Monster | 12/08/2010

“A Snow White Christmas” review

I have vague memories of going to a Christmas party when I was very very little. Too little to recognize the other cousins attending as my relatives; I’d only met them once or twice before. This was the kind of party where the adults hung around having what could only be assumed to be real fun, while the kids were herded into a room expected to either play together or be entertained by whatever Christmas movie the host could find at the last minute.
At this particular party, this movie was playing. It only added to the awkwardness.
And it is even retroactively adding to the awkwardness, because I had been operating under the assumption that this movie was just some childhood sugar rush induced hallucination. I didn’t even remember this party and now that I have watched this movie as an adult, it’s all rushing back.
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Posted by: Mad Ness Monster | 11/24/2010

“The Elm-Chanted Forest” review

Oh, animated films from Eastern Europe, you never fail to amuse me.
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Posted by: Mad Ness Monster | 11/09/2010

“Creating Rem Lezar” review

A long, long time ago (in Internet years, so… maybe 2007), the website Ebaum’s World (not safe for work) posted a particularly strange video clip under the title of “Bad 80’s Music Video”. If you have not seen it, it looks like this.

The clip turned out to be from a direct-to-VHS children’s film entitled “Creating Rem Lezar”. YouTube user Timothy Hand has since discovered a copy of the film, and was kind enough to upload it in six episodes.

That little “Outta Sight” number does not indicate at all just how batsh*t insane this movie is.
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Posted by: Mad Ness Monster | 09/29/2010

“Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron” review

WARNING FOR CONCERNED PARENTS: This review contains vast galloping herds of jokes about the gross things horses do. Also, a big big barrel of Bryan Adams hate. So don’t let babies or people who act like babies read this.

Do you like horses?
Do you like Bryan Adams’ music?
No, I mean it. Do you R-E-A-L-L-Y like Bryan Adams’ music?
And horses?
Lots and lots of horses?
Because if you are “meh” about horses and dislike Bryan Adams, boy howdy is this going to be a long movie.
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