This is the movie you saw as a child where the kid loses all his hair, uses a magic potion given to him by two dead hobos to grow it back, and gets something wrong in the potion so his hair won’t stop growing and growing. The whole thing is viewable on Google Video and I suggest you take an afternoon and watch it, just to stop it from haunting your memory any longer. No need to thank me; that’s why I’m here.
Of all the direct-to-video/DVD movies I’ve reviewed here, I have a feeling this is the one that’s going to get the most “holy s**t, THAT’s what it was called!!!”-es. Everyone seems to mistake this for a crazy, demented fever-induced nightmare they had once that still haunts their imagination to this day — and then they learn that it was an actual movie that somebody actually sat down and made. It’s by our same Canadian friends that made “Tommy Tricker“, which helps explain some things.
It’s easy to see why so many people who saw this as a child assume this was a nightmare. More so than any other movie, this one nails the random events, non-logic of a dream. (I’m in a building M. C. Escher might like. Now I am sitting in the ruins of a sacred place in the middle of a forest. Now suddenly something else is happening. Here’s a person I’ve never met in real life, yet I know exactly who he is, even though I can’t even see his face clearly. You get the idea.) Basically, this movie starts out as an absurd comedy about a kid whose hair keeps growing and growing until about the fifty-six minute mark, whereupon it turns very suddenly into something Jean-Pierre Jeunet would consider too surreal.
The Best Parts:
4 minutes in – “Hell, yeah. Horrifying tragedies are awesome!”
9 minutes in – Oh God, horrible figure drawing teacher flashbacks!
11 minutes in – And already with the Nightmare Fuel.
14 minutes in – Why do all these movies give their main characters friends who are total a**holes?
18 minutes in – “Well, I don’t know how to answer that one… Powder.”
20 minutes in – Random Act of Ant Cruelty!
22 minutes in –
HAIR DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY!!!
23 minutes in – “Exit Through the Gift Shop” this isn’t.
25 minutes in – “And frankly, we’re surprised we even let you be alone in a room with children.”
26 minutes in – What the hell kind of artist ARE you anyway?
28 minutes in – Child actors in Canadian films, everyone!
31 minutes in – A-n-d… here’s the scene where people usually recall this movie.
34 minutes in – Well, that’s a downer.
37 minutes in – Huh. I was wondering where he was going to get flies at this time of year.
40 minutes in – Somewhere, Professor Snape is facepalming.
46 minutes in – …
52 minutes in – I cannot freakin’ believe this movie went there.
54 minutes in – And right about here is where things get weird. In this movie about a kid whose hair won’t stop growing.
57 minutes in – Dude, that’s not a paint brush, it’s a hand-held mop!
1 hour in – Is the Signor wearing a cape made of Michael’s hair?
1 hour, 1 minute in –
1 hour, 2 minutes in – And now, Celine Dion as a lass.
1 hour, 4 minutes in – You have to admit, this here plot twist was unexpected.
1 hour, 11 minutes in – “Here, take my Deux ex machina.”
1 hour, 18 minutes in – “Inception” this isn’t.
1 hour, 21 minutes in – “Screw you guys, I need my closure!”
1 hour, 22 minutes in – Large Marge!!!
1 hour, 25 minutes in – “Dude! You kidnapped and enslaved twenty children! That’s some ‘5,000 Fingers of Dr. T’ sh*t right there!”
1 hour, 27 minutes in – “Every night in my dreams, I SEE you! I FEEEEEEL you!!!”
“Look at him! Look at the way he SITS! The way the muscles ripple under his SKIN!” – The Signor
“We’re holding a bit of Michael in our hands!” – Suzie
“You swept up my sugar!!!” – Suzie
“To a child, the world is so wild! / To a child, storms are outside!” – Celine Dion’s creepy end-credits song
Things I Learned from this Movie:
* – Canadians are not surprised by ANYTHING!!!
* – It’s okay to glue things to your body.
* – Do not ever modify the ingredients to a magic potion.
* – Art supply stores may not call their merchandise’s sources into question.
Things That Can Save Any Movie:
Cool Creatures? No.
Good Soundtrack? Celine Dion is just the icing on the massive WTF cake.
Hot Guys? No.
Pretty Scenery? No.
Nifty Animation/Effects/Art Direction? Somewhere in the staff of this movie was a pretty good animator.
Drinking Game Potential? Drink when you start remembering this movie.
Head Movie Potential? That’s probably a bad, bad idea.
It is, at least, one hell of a trip.
A Les Productions La Fête Film released in 1985 by New World Video. Written by Vojtech Jasný, Andrée Pelletier, Louise Pelletier, and Michael Rubbo, and directed by Michael Rubbo.
Mathew Mackay, Siluck Saysanasy, and Alison Darcy
TV Tropes Page
Canuxploitation Page -The name of this website might be a joke, but the information in it isn’t. It gives quite a lot of back-story to this weird-ass movie.