Posted by: Mad Ness Monster | 04/04/2010

“The Matrix Revolutions” Review

The last movie in the “Matrix” trilogy! And it’s…
It’s…
(Long pause…)
Well, how would *you* wrap this story up?

The Best Parts:
2 minutes in – I like my sequels to pick up *right* where the last movie ended.
4 minutes in – “Ah damn, I’m stuck in one of Mohinder’s dreams.”
7 minutes in – Hey is it weird that Oracle is the one character I find myself relating to the most this time?
10 minutes in – “Uh… but… *how?*”
11 minutes in – Look quick and you’ll see the best callback ever.
12 minutes in – “I don’t really think that’s what it means.”
13 minutes in – No, don’t say that! (A moment later…) D’oh!
14 minutes in – “Yeah, well I’m Jesus! So… there’s that.”
16 minutes in – “Weeee!”
17 minutes in – “Ah, one more jump-kick for the road.”
18 minutes in – “What in the hell have we just walked in on?”
22 minutes in – Ew!
24 minutes in – Awww…
26 minutes in – Man, foreshadowing is *still* a bitch.
32 minutes in – This is going to suck. Lots. 😦
35 minutes in – You mendacious f**kwit! Noooooooooooo!!!!!
40 minutes in – “It worked for Aragorn.”
45 minutes in – Hey, she’s like Locke! Err, the other Locke.
48 minutes in – You know, I didn’t honestly expect this to get so emotional.
55 minutes in – “Can you give me a quick explanation *how* then?”
59 minutes in – Hi, Jack Black!
1 hour, 2 minutes in – “Weeeeeeeeeee!!!!!”
1 hour, 3 minutes in –  ***BIG DAMN EPIC BATTLE!!!***
1 hour, 6 minutes in – “I am so happy I decided to wear brown…”
1 hour, 15 minutes in – “There really has to be a better way to do this.”
1 hour, 20 minutes in – “ZELDAAAAAAA!!!”
1 hour, 21 minutes in -“VALHALLA I AM COMING!!!”
1 hour, 22 minutes in – “WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
1 hour, 28 minutes in – “Well, thanks for putting me on the spot there, Locke.”
1 hour, 30 minutes in – “Before this movie ends, you’re going to have to explain how it is that you’re able to do that.”
1 hour, 31 minutes in – And now, a bunch of sad things happen all at once…
1 hour, 39 minutes in – “Holy WTF?”
1 hour, 41 minutes in – “Ow… ow… ow!”
1 hour, 42 minutes in – ***SUPER BRAWL!!!***
1 hour, 48 minutes in – “Well, that was a fun epic battle. Who’s up for Karaoke?”
1 hour, 52 minutes in – “Especially your whole ‘Humans are bastards’ speech; I mostly agree with you there. Mostly.”
1 hour, 56 minutes in – “Uh… Yay! What happened?”
2 hours in – Yeah, I know, but how would you end it? (Double or nothing “Lost” ends similarly.)
Edit – Well.  Huh.  Whaddaya know, it did!

As promised…

Things That Can Save Any Movie:
Cool Creatures?
Not unless you believe that jazz about vampires, werewolves, ect.
Good Soundtrack? Hell and yes. I need to get more of it on my iPod actually. (Goes to do this…) “Album Only”?!? You &^%#$-ers!
Hot Guys? Everyone looks hot in black. That’s all I’m going to say here.
Pretty Scenery? It isn’t exactly pretty, but the concept art is amazing.
Nifty Animation/Effects/Art Direction? Yes (except for that one mo-cap scene), yes, and yes.

Drinking Game Potential? Drink when they say “destiny”, “causality”, “choice”, or something to that extent.
Head Movie Potential? Since you’re asking this, I can only assume you didn’t go to college in the early-Aughts.

Rating:
Donnie rating (4)
As a whole, the trilogy gets a Donnie. There are bits that have not aged well, but overall the whole shebang is awesomesauce.

Credits
A Village Roadshow/Silver Pictures film released in 2003 by Warner Bros. Written and directed by the Wachowski… siblings… (It’s complicated.)
Cast
Keanu Reeves, Carrie-Anne Moss, Laurence Fishburne, Hugo Weaving, Ian Bliss, Collin Chou, Nona Gaye, Nathanial Lees, Bruce Spense, Gina Torres, Clayton Watson, Mary Alice, and Tanveer K. Atwal
Related Links
IMDB page
TV Tropes page
Battleship Pretension Retrospective (audio)

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