Posted by: Mad Ness Monster | 06/30/2009

The Myth of the Llama review


Trust me, this one’s much better than it sounds.

Llamasex, wherever you are, this one’s for you. 🙂
This book has EVERY So-Bad-It’s-Horrible thing going for it. It’s from a small-press publishing house that has apparently vanished into thin air and that specialized in “character building” books (again with the character building). Character building books that -I couldn’t make this up if I tried- all involved llamas. I bought it in the Smiling Hill Farm gift shop. It’s plot description is so earnest it hurts. And, of course, there’s that title.
And the book does not suck.
I’m flabbergasted. I actually liked it a lot. Sadly, it’s like Jonathan Livingston Seagull in that it’s a fun read but convincing anyone that it’s actually good is an uphill battle.
Still… a publishing house that would only publish fiction involving llamas?

The Best Parts:
Page 17 – OK, I didn’t expect this to depress the hell out of me.
Page 21 – All this scene needs is Luna Lovegood saying how “you were so brave and good”. 😦
Page 36 – “Well, Sinbad, I guess we’re in a Magical Land. I hate Magical Lands.”
Page 47 – So the Morally Ambiguous Witch has just given Andy the ability to see other people’s Power Animals. Guess what Andy is. Go on!
Page 57 – It’s cool how this book is subverting the whole “kid enters a Magical Land and goes on an adventure and by the way don’t ask yourself if his family is worried back in the normal world” trope.
Page 70 – OK, so why do all these people in these books like to fight animals and make them p*ssed off?
Page 71 – Hey, he’s like King Leonidas!
Page 78 – Damn! Andy’s dad was kind of a d-bag but isn’t this punishment a little harsh?
Page 102 – Sinbad the Llama’s Big Damn Hero Moment!
Page 107 – When I am old and cranky, this is so totally going to be my “Private Property” sign.
Page 109 – It has been thirty-six pages since the wolf in the winter cold…

Classic Quotes and Excerpts:
“What you love in legends is true.” – Page 64 (well said)

Things I Learned from this Book:
* – Skunks and Opossums are good candidates for petting zoos.
* – If your brave and good dog starts barking at the mist, worry.
* – A llama may seem like a strange choice as a “Replacement Goldfish” for a dog but it is totally the right one.
* – If you’ve visited a Magical Land and you return, and it turns out you have been gone for a long time, just make up a believable excuse. It’s just easier for everyone involved.
* – It has got to be incredibly awkward to find out that your Power Animal is a *specific* animal you personally know.
* – If your Power Animal is a llama, know that you’ll be twice as appealing to Werewolves (whether this goes for other herbivore Power Animals is not known).
* – If you find yourself in a Magical Land, know that a Llama is much better than a Horse. Llamas can *climb*.

Things That Can Save Any Book:
Cool Creatures? Llamas!
Creative Ideas? With llamas!
Memorable Character? Llamas!!!
Memorable Setting? A Magical Land that’s kind of by-the-numbers except for the Llamas!
Nifty Illustrations? Llama llama llama!!!

Drinking Game Potential? Drink when you have to stop and realize how silly this premise is.

Rating: Jordan rating (3)
Jordan goin’ to the dentist, Oo-ee!
Publishing Information
The Myth of the Llama copyright 1989 to Jeri Massi. Illustrations by Del and Dana Thompson. Published by Llama Books, Easley, SC.
ISBN #: 187777800
Related Links: Page



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