Posted by: Mad Ness Monster | 06/29/2009

“A Cosmic Christmas” review


This short animated film is by the animators who would later work on “The Star Wars Holiday Special“. So that right there tells you what you’re up against.

Actually, it’s not that bad. It’s just very, very trippy (the insane kind of trippy, as opposed to the whimsical “The Lollipop Dragon” kind of trippy). It has an interesting message. It’s based on a very old sci-fi concept but for some reason, this is where it really hit me:
I feel very, very bad for whomever is eventually going to have to explain abstract human concepts to non-humans.

The Best Parts:
1 minutes in – Riku? Darn him, now he has the Bullet-Time Snowball ability!
4 minutes in – Have a trippy Christmas! Psy-yi-yi... duck?
7 minutes in – Um… wow.
8 minutes in – “KAAAAAAAAHN!!!”
10 minutes in – Obligatory Annoying Squishy Thingie!
12 minutes in – ~IGNORE ME!!!~
14 minutes in – Again, have a very trippy Christmas.
16 minutes in – Hey, that’s speciest!
18 minutes in – Look, Squishy Thingie, either make yourself useful or get out of the ruttin’ way.
20 minutes in – I’ll bet Grandma is a lot of fun at parties.
22 minutes in – Once again, have a trippy, trippy Christmas and a trippy Boxing Day!
24 minutes in – Viacom’s Flying V of Spooky Doom!!! Noooooooooooo!!!!!
(NOTE: I can see where an unsuspecting TV viewer would be alarmed by this thing, especially late at night. However, IMO the most sh*t-yourself scary studio logo of all time is Evil Demonic Laser Mickey! Look for him on YouTube at your own risk and while you do, think about the little late-70’s kids [like me] who had to face this brain-melting insanity in order to watch “Winnie the Pooh”. WTF were they thinking?)

Classic Lines of Dialogue:
“You don’t BUY Christmas!” – Grandma
“Help? Perhaps that is the meaning of Christmas!” – Intergalactic Magus Guy

Things I Learned from this Movie/Book/Whatever:
* – Canada is NUTS. (Sorry, Drew. 😦 )
* – Intergalactic Magi like Rush. A lot.
* – Extraterrestrials exist at a far slower frame rate than Earthlings.

Things That Can Save Any Movie:
Cool Creatures?
Intergalactic Magi!
Good Soundtrack? Fine if you like your prog-rock.
Hot Guys? No.
Pretty Scenery? No.
Nifty Animation/Special Effects/Illustrations? It is VERY 70’s (with terrifying character designs).

Drinking Game Potential? Drink when you see something that reminds you of “Heavy Metal“. Alternatively, drink when the Annoying Squishy Thingie actually acts useful.

Head Movie Potential? Yes.

Rating: Jordan rating (3)
Kind of hard to say because it’s so short. I’ll give it a Jordan.
A Nelvana Film released by Viacom in 1977, in association with the Canadian Broadcasting Company. Directed by Clive A. Smith based on a story by Patrick Loubert. Yup, the “Rock and Rule” guys!
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