Posted by: Mad Ness Monster | 06/28/2009

“The Pee-Wee’s Playhouse Christmas Special” review

(11/29/04)

You KNOW there’s no way this one wasn’t going to come home with me when I saw it available to rent on DVD.

It’s got TWO commentary tracks and it’s also got a rather lame Easter Egg (in the commentary menu) that shows you the original commercial bumpers and then eerily turns the disk off.
If you saw this years ago, watch it again. If you have NEVER seen it, wow! This is a total head trip, you have to check it out.
You might want to keep the wee ones out of the room though…

The Best Parts:
13 seconds in – And the point of that is…?
1 minutes in – And we’re off!
4 minutes in – Already I can tell that somebody’s skipped on their meds.
5 minutes in – (Raises eyebrow inquisitively) Eh, WHAT kind of doll, Pee-Wee?
7 minutes in – Holy crap, the floor’s alive?!
9 minutes in – Too bad she didn’t invite Theodore, he’d have fit right in.
10 minutes in – This is how irritating children’s memes get born.
14 minutes in – Euwww…
15 minutes in – Okay, Grace Jones has just mailed herself in a box to the President.
Please note that all of the above has occurred just fifteen minutes into the movie.
17 minutes in – Payback for “Back to the Beach”!
20 minutes in – Max and Dave Fleisher’s “Christmas Comes but Once a Year!” It’s actually a neat cartoon. That’s a darn cool special effect at the end.
24 minutes in – “Did you ever have a dream that felt real?
(There is an uncomfortable pause as he looks around…)
“Erm… never mind.”
27 minutes in – I may be wrong but I think this might be the only time we’ve ever ventured outside the Playhouse.
32 minutes in – Penny!
33 minutes in – Okay, so, like, what is the message here?
35 minutes in – Never in a MILLION years would Oprah be cool enough to do something like this today.
42 minutes in – Um… wow.
45 minutes in – Darn it if that wasn’t curiously moving.

Classic Lines of Dialogue:
“Magic Screen and I are cousins!” – Magic Johnson
“Let’s go out and play in the snow!!!” – Pee-Wee
PEE-WEE: “Thanks, Chairy! Where would I be without you?”
CHAIRY: “On the floor.”
“You get to break things for Christmas?” – Pee Wee
PEE-WEE: “Sleigh Bells! I hear reindeer on the roof! You know what that means?”
REBA: “You had too much egg nog?”

~*~ Poetry Corner ~*~
“That was Cher! / Cher was right there! / In the same room as my Chair! / I hope I didn’t stare. / Oh well, I don’t care!” – Pee-Wee

Things I Learned from this Movie/Book/Whatever:
* – Don’t taunt a Djinn.
* – Ventriloquist dummies are scary.
* – It can snow for about five seconds and look like the Ice Age.
* – Mullets are awesome.
* – “Road to Morocco” is a good Christmas movie.
* – Marionettes are outright bastards.
* – “12 Days of Christmas” is a bad song to sing over the phone.
* – Hanging pinatas and Christmas tree stars is a lot easier if you’re a little animal who can fly.

Things I Learned from the Commentary Track:
* – A “tiny” earthquake almost ruined the opening animation.
* – The “camera lens” Pee-Wee breaks with his yo-yo was actually a mirror. Sadly, that explains a lot.
* – This is indeed the only time we ventured outside the Playhouse.
* – “Little Drummer Boy” will haunt David Bowie for the rest of his life.
* – Magic Screen is definitely female.
* – No fruitcakes were harmed during the making of this film.

Things That Can Save Any Movie:
Cool Creatures?
All the Playhouse residents are here.
Good Soundtrack? Yup.
Hot Guys? Uh… just Pee-Wee.
Pretty Scenery? Nobody called the Playhouse “pretty” but it’s production design is pretty amazing.
Nifty Animation/Special Effects/Illustrations? Yup.

Drinking Game Potential? Drink when our hero gets a fruitcake (watch out for the Chanukah scene). Drink when they say the secret word.

Head Movie Potential? And how.

Rating: Joey rating (bestest)
The only complaint about this special is that it’s too short. An easy Joey!
Credits
A Binder Entertainment Film made in 1988 by Pee-Wee Pictures. Written by John Paragon and Paul Reubens and directed by Wayne Orr and Paul Reubens.
Cast
Everybody and their mom. Seriously.
Well, Paul Reubens, Larry (que?) Fishburne, Lynne Stewart, John Paragon (who also did all the puppetry), Aaron Fletcher, Suzanne Kent, Will Marshal, S. Epatha Merkerson, Vic Trevino, the UCLA Men’s Glee Club, Frankie Avalon, Annette Funicello, Charo, the DelRubio Triplets, Zsa Zsa Gabor, Woopi Goldberg, Magic Johnson, Grace Jones, k. d. lang, Little Richard, Joan Rivers, Dinah Shore, and Oprah Winfrey (whew).
Related Links
IMDB page
X-Entertainment’s Pee Wee fest 2000! – “If you can think of anything better than having Charro sings Spanish holiday songs being flanked by a pirate, a talking chair, and a puppet band…you’ve got a real creative mind.”
“the Slumber Party” – Now watch how Matt changes his tune after actually sitting down and watching an entire episode. Classic.

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