(AKA “Mahô no Purinsesu Minkî Momo”.) This could be the most totally incomprehensible Animé movie I have ever seen, and that is really a remarkable achievement if you think about it.
Here is the story, and remember that I am not making any of this up.
A long time ago, the king and queen of another planet somewhere decided that their little daughter Princess Gigli Gigi needed to be raised by Earthlings. So they sent Gigi and her super-deformed animal friends down a sweet, sweet rainbow bridge to Earth. Her foster parents were lost on a journey to Tahiti, so Gigi flew her magical little helicopter-pod to find them. She found herself drawn to a mysterious island with a magical cloud giving off great waves of power. And a spy, and a magician and his sidekick, and two gangsters arrived there at the same time too. After a few misadventures, they all journeyed to the top of the mysterious magical mountain. And there, they found an upside-down city floating high inside the magic cloud. And Gigi found her parents there. And she also met some cool dragons, and Peter Pan, and this green-haired hippie kid who teaches dinosaurs to sing under the North Pole…
It was around the time that last character was introduced that I gave up trying to understand what the hell was going on.
The Best Parts:
1 minute in – Well, I am already hopelessly confused.
2 minutes in – HORRIBLY DEFORMED MONKEY!!!
3 minutes in – Famous last words.
4 minutes in – Famous last words reloaded.
6 minutes in – Wee! This is fun!
10 minutes in – Too… many… characters…
14 minutes in – MONKEYS!!! DRAGONS!!!
17 minutes in – Gee, I wonder if the cloud is going to be important later?
18 minutes in – ***The point where I gave up on understanding what was going on in this movie.***
22 minutes in – Famous last words revolutions!
23 minutes in – Lamest breath-weapon ever.
24 minutes in – “Fear and respect that escalator!!!”
26 minutes in – Still more coherent than “Catwoman”.
30 minutes in – But there is something about Gigi that you do not know! She is not really right handed!
32 minutes in – AAAH!!! He’s like Michael Jackson!!!
(EDIT: Ouch… Eh, eff it. It’s still funny.)
35 minutes in – A chilling reminder of what happens when you cut school funding.
37 minutes in – Aw, it’s just like So Long, and Thanks For all the Fish! 🙂
40 minutes in – This does not relate to anything in the real world at all. No sir.
42 minutes in – Wait… they don’t know that she’s an alien?!?
43 minutes in – Chickie, you’re going to be Queen of the Asteroids, or whatever, and you ALSO want to be a singer?
47 minutes in – “Share and enjoy!”
49 minutes in – Once again, this has no relevance in our world at all. No siree.
52 minutes in – NOOOOOO!!! MARVIN!!!
56 minutes in – Attack of the Bubble Tape!
57 minutes in – So she has to go through that whole spiel every time she wants to change costumes? That’s a pretty sucky superpower to have, come to think of it.
1 hour in – Wow. Just like “A New Hope”.
1 hour, 2 minutes in – Rotund Pterosaur lives!!!
1 hour, 7 minutes in – Hey, he’s like Poochi!
1 hour, 9 minutes in – This would have been less creepy had she been in her adult form (don’t ask).
1 hour, 12 minutes in – Okay, how popular a singer does she think she’s going to be now that she’s massacred her initial audience?
1 hour, 14 minutes in – I still want to know how this career works with her being a princess.
1 hour, 17 minutes in (after the movie) – The Just for Kids video collection trailer park! Holy Zarquon singing fish, do I feel bad for the dweeby host kid. (And I’m going to have to keep an eye out for some of these movies. That “Clementine” one is almost too insane to handle.)
Classic Lines of Dialogue:
“Reach for your dreams!” – Princess Gigi (about nine-million times)
~*~ Poetry Corner ~*~
“She might look just like you / She might talk just like me / but she’s made of moonbeams!!!” – Singer during the end title credits (Okay lady, if you say so!)
Things I Learned from this Movie/Book/Whatever:
* – Outer space is very crowded.
* – Svalbard has an excellent workout class.
* – Puppets need to eat.
* – Peter Pan’s magic can override that of a space princess.
* – Singing daisies are creepier than you might imagine.
* – Cute little robots aren’t to be trusted.
* – Figment needs to find a new line of work, the poor sod.
Things That Can Save Any Movie:
Cool Creatures? Deformed animals, magic dragons, singing dinosaurs, and the triumphant return of the Rotund Pterosaur.
Good Soundtrack? Okay, whoever wrote the groovy 70’s music for this movie is totally insane. If you find this movie and watch it, you will understand why.
Hot Guys? No.
Pretty Scenery? Trippy.
Nifty Animation/Special Effects/Illustrations? Very trippy.
Drinking Game Potential? Drink when Gigi does that creepy thing where she changes both costumes *and* age.
Head Movie Potential? You betcha.
Danny and his (fictional) stupid druggie friend.
A Harmony Gold U.S.A. Inc. Film distributed in 1987 by good old Celebrity Home Entertainment: Just For Kids. Written by Greg Snegoff after a story by Carl Machek and Takeshi Shudo. Produced by Ahmed Agrama and directed by Hiroshi Watanabe. Now you know how many people it takes to come up with a totally insane animated feature film. All of them are official soul-brothers to Yoram Gross.