We kicked this summer off with a movie about summer vacation, so why not end with one?
This is yet another movie that was recommended to me by a cousin, and since I’ve got approximately five billion relatives, there are a lot of such movies. The thing is, she was talking about this movie so much, I was getting sick of hearing about it. When you finally watch a movie that somebody won’t shut up about, you’re overall attitude is less “I’m so happy that I finally get to sit down and watch this” than “This sure as hell better not suck.”
Actually, on second viewing, this is actually pretty good. The first time I watched it, I thought, “Somebody watches a Savage Steve movie and says, ‘I could do this!'” And this isn’t even as funny as “One Crazy Summer”, but it does have the same kind of “what the hell” charm.
What really won me over, I guess, was when I realized, in the middle of the movie, that this is exactly the kind of no-budget absurdity that *I* would come up with if I ever made a movie. It’s 80’s, it’s Maine, it’s totally insane, and the geeks save the day in the end. Excellent.
The Best Parts:
2 minutes in – “WAKE UP!!!”
4 minutes in – The first of many “Salute Your Shorts” flashbacks.
12 minutes in – What the heck? Is it raining outside that window?
16 minutes in – MULLET!!!
17 minutes in – Wait, did my college buddies and I make a promise like that before we graduated? Uh-oh…
24 minutes in – “Hey Andy! Can I take the motor boat and drive around the lake?”
30 minutes in – ROAD TRIP!!!
39 minutes in – BUNNY!!!
42 minutes in – Why couldn’t the first “Mighty Ducks” movie end like this?
44 minutes in – “CAPTURE THE FLAG!!!”
47 minutes in – Awww…
52 minutes in – Wow, that sucks.
57 minutes in – “DINNER!!!”
1 hour, 2 minutes in – Oh… my… God…
1 hour, 9 minutes in – “You’re gonna need a montage!”
1 hour, 10 minutes – Mullet on the run!!!
1 hour, 11 minutes – AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1 hour, 12 minutes – Wow, that sucks!
1 hour, 13 minutes – “TALENT SHOW!!!”
1 hour, 26 minutes – What the hell just happened?
1 hour, 28 minutes – Hooray for sequel set-up!
1 hour, 30 minutes – WOW, that sucks!
Classic Lines of Dialogue:
“Excuse me, ladies. You may remember me as the guy who came to dinner a few weeks ago with underwear on my head. …And as you may have heard, I am recently crowned a Class B Dungeon Master.” – Keith the Lord of the Geeks
“Can you tell me where I can find the sci-fi… uh… nerdy… um… the indoor kids?” – Associate Professor Newman
“Well, let’s SAY 9:00 and then we’ll be there at 9:30!” – Coop
“I have been programmed by my galactic masters not to speak to Earth denizens of the designation Jay-Jay and McKinley-zoid!” – Steve
“Be proud of who you are. …You are ready to be taught the New Way!” – Gene (for the record, the local Wall-Mart is FULL of Genes, and may God help them if they really are anything like this in real life O_o)
Things I Learned from this Movie/Book/Whatever:
* – The following things are kinky: S’mores, sweatshirts, RPGs, chewing gum, Pan flutes, barbecue sauce, barns, and refrigerators.
* – SERIOUSLY weird stuff goes down in picturesque little New England towns. (I gotta find out where this Waterville is.)
* – How many women named Debby can exist in one place before the Space-Time Continuum implodes?
* – Sometimes it’s best just to leave the weird loner kid alone…
* – Hey, we get a 1.3,000,000 mile trip every year for FREE!
* – Being an associate professor sucks.
* – Gamers: Never go anywhere without your multiple-sided dice.
Things That Can Save Any Movie:
Cool Creatures? If Mainers count…
Good Soundtrack? 70’s rock!!!
Hot Guys? Actually, yeah… if you don’t mind the unfortunate hairstyles.
Pretty Scenery? It’s (rural Pennsylvania posing as) Maine!
Nifty Animation/Special Effects? No, but that’s part of the joke.
Drinking Game Potential? Heck yeah! Drink anytime Andy makes a kid die, any time Neil’s Mullet changes, and any time Gene makes a Freudian slip.
Head Movie Potential? Oh, indeed yes. By virtue of that Waterville scene alone.
You know, I’m feelin’ pretty good tonight. I’m giving this an admirable rating of Donnie. Hey, a little local appeal goes a long way.
An Enter These Dark Woods film made in association with Eureka Pictures in 2001. Released on home video by USA Films. Directed by David Wain. Associate producer, Howard Gertler. Original songs by Craig Wedren and Theodore Shapiro.
Janeane Garofalo, David Hyde Pierce, Molly Shannon, Michael Ian Black, Camp Towanda, and Pazinsky’s Mixed Vegetables.