Posted by: Mad Ness Monster | 06/27/2009

“TRON” review

(11/4/03)

I’ve seen this movie more times in the past month (three and a half) than I have all my life (zero), and bugger if I can explain to you what it’s about. “T.R.O.N.” was the first live-action/CGI animated movie. That sounds like it’d be interesting to watch now doesn’t it?

It’s actually pretty boring. Most of the story is just an excuse to show off the pretty graphics (kind of like the “Star Wars” prequels). A programmer enters a video game or something and he has to help this guy T.R.O.N. battle the Master Control Program. I think that’s it. It isn’t a bad movie, but with all I’ve ever heard about it I expected more.

The Best Parts:
1 minute in – Oooooooooooohhh… trippy…..
2 minutes in – Wow. I am already confused.
3 minutes in – “Meanwhile, in the Real World…” (Best title card ever.)
5 minutes in – “Today on ‘Music from the Heart of Space’…”
8 minutes in – Okay, is this helicopter real or are we still in the computer?
11 minutes in – I have no idea what’s going on here.
13 minutes in – “Think of it! Now people will never again have to look in two different places for oranges and 3-D graphic renderings of oranges!”
16 minutes in – What computer geek circa 1982 owned his own club?
17 minutes in – WORKOUT “FASHION”!!!
21 minutes in – Wait, this whole thing is over a copyright infringement???
23 minutes in – NO!!! Sarcastic online pop-culture discussion is what computers are for!!!
25 minutes in – Why the hell would you want a door that takes that long to open?
27 minutes in – Wake me when he gets a mysterious package with a phone inside…
30 minutes in – Oooooooooooohhh… trippy….. Second Movement.
31 minutes in – Anyone for “Tetris”?
37 minutes in – Yeah, but does he know Kung-Fu?
42 minutes in – Aww, it’s just like “the Wizard of OZ”!
45 minutes in – Holy cow, THAT’S what the Mailer Dæmon looks like???
46 minutes in – Enjoy the scenic Virtual Coast Road.
49 minutes in – Well, unless that’s a lake of Vodka… (shrugs, hoists coffee) Na Zdrowie, little virtual people!
54 minutes in – Hey, did Chip approve the blueprint for that Gummi Ship?
59 minutes in – Oh, brother, I hated this thing in “Treasure Planet” too.
1 hour, 1 minute in – Hey, cool, they’re in Crankyland!!! 😀
1 hour, 2 minutes in – “I… HAVE… THE POW-ERRRRRR!!!!!!!!!
1 hour, 6 minutes in – “Flyin’ high above the clouds! / I never thought I could feel so free! / I’m one with the birds and magic is all that I see!!!” (How many “South Park” quotes is this?)
1 hour, 8 minutes in – Aww, they’re like little baby Squiddies!
1 hour, 18 minutes in – Wait, isn’t he supposed to be purple? ^_^
1 hour, 20 minutes in – “Inuk-CHUUK!!!” (sp?)
1 hour, 22 minutes in – Oooooooooooohhh… trippy….. Third Movement.

Classic Lines of Dialogue:
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” – Darn near every character at some point in the movie.
“Do you believe in the User?” – R.A.M.
“Our spirit remains in ever program we’ve written.” – Walter
“All that is visible must grow beyond itself, and extend into the invisible.” – Dumant the Tower Guardian (Um, huh?)

Things I Learned from this Movie/Book/Whatever:
* – Every time you hack into the computer system at work, Master Control kills a little virtual person. 😦
* – Gamers get all the chicks.
* – Flying disks can kill people.
* – They didn’t know how to render cool-looking water until “the Abyss”.
* – Every time you delete a file, you kill a little virtual person. 😦
* – Little virtual people need love too.
* – Some people are willing to go through a LOT for copyright infringement evidence.

Things That Can Save Any Movie:
Cool Creatures?
Little virtual people!
Good Soundtrack? Trippy 80’s electronic music.
Hot Guys? No.
Pretty Scenery? Well, the whole point of the movie is to show off a little virtual world.
Nifty Animation/Special Effects? Pretty spiffy for it’s time, yeah.

Drinking Game Potential? Anytime a little virtual person realizes that Flynn is a User and responds in Shock and also Awe.

Head Movie Potential? Repeat: trippy 80’s electronic music and CGI!

Rating: Donnie rating (4)
Uhhh… Half of a Donnie. The effects are very good for the time this was made and I do have a soft spot for live-action/animation. At the same time, if you think about it, this movie has the “Stuart Little” movies to answer for…
Credits
A Lisberger / Kushner Production released in 1982 by Walt Disney Productions. Written and directed by Steven Lisberger. Trippy 80’s CGI animation supervised by Richard Taylor, Art Direction by Moebius. Trippy 80’s electronic music by Wendy Carlos.
Related Links
IMDB page
Ultimate Disney review – Extensive DVD information with some concept art.

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