Posted by: Mad Ness Monster | 07/01/2009

“The Flaming Lips’ Christmas on Mars” review

(11/28/08)

Well, it’s a movie about some people living in a colony on Mars. They’re all gradually losing faith and hope. Then an alien arrives and helps them remember the true meaning of Christmas. And it’s by the Flaming Lips.
Now watch it… O.o

The Best Parts:
(Note: Just as an extra mind-screw, the readout on your DVD player will be one minute ahead of my Beepie the Kitchen Timer.)
1 minutes in – AUGH! I’m having that dream again!!! Psy-yi-yi... duck?
3 minutes in – Only three minutes in and I’m starting to worry about Wayne Coyne.
(Man, the giant hamster ball didn’t do it, nor did the dancing Fursuiters. I must have a high “crazy” tolerance.)
6 minutes in – Eggs, man.
7 minutes in – Ah, there’s our Title Significance.
11 minutes in – Woah, swearing! Also, the inevitable “Star Wars” reference.
13 minutes in – AHHH WTF?! pseyesbleed
15 minutes in – Woah…
23 minutes in – At least now we know what a David Lynch Christmas Special would look like.
24 minutes in – Do. Not. Want!
25 minutes in – AUUUUGH WTF!?!. AAAAAHHHHH!!!
29 minutes in – Yeah.
31 minutes in – Oh, you saw it too? Thank goodness!
33 minutes in – And thus did Earth start it’s first dialogue with an extraterrestrial intelligence.
35 minutes in – Gary Stu Alien!
42 minutes in – I should probably point out here that this whole movie is based upon a drawing Wayne did of an alien in a Santa Claus suit for a Christmas card one year. So yeah.
44 minutes in – I feel like my brain is leaking too.
50 minutes in – Um, I should probably also mention that I really don’t know much about the Flaming Lips outside of the stuff I already mentioned and “She Don’t Use Jelly”. So yeah.
55 minutes in – After all the squickie horror media that uses male parts as a reoccurring theme, I guess using female parts is a stride towards equality.
1 hour, 1 minute in – Aww, he’s like Maya from “Heroes” one half of the Blessed With Suck Twins.
1 hour, 4 minutes in – Repeat: everything we have seen so far was based upon this image.
1 hour, 10 minutes in – Aww…
1 hour, 12 minutes in – (Ness crosses her legs…) Noooooooooooo!!!!!
1 hour, 15 minutes in – I can’t help but notice she’s also the only female crew member we’ve seen.
1 hour, 17 minutes in – Aww… (OK, how can something so f’ed up have such a sweet ending?)
1 hour, 19 minutes in – Aw heck, one more set of lady parts for the road.

Things I Learned from this Movie/Book/Whatever:
* – Marching bands are terrifying.
* – Alloys can go extinct.
* – People who aren’t from Earth can catch on to some of our stranger concepts, like Santa Claus, pretty quickly.

Things That Can Save Any Movie:
Cool Creatures?
Santa Gary Stu Alien!
Good Soundtrack? The music is good but it should be mentioned that the Lips don’t sing any of their songs in this.
Hot Guys? Um…
Pretty Scenery? No, but that’s intentional.
Nifty Animation/Special Effects/Illustrations? Ditto for this.

Drinking Game Potential? Drink when you see a vaginal symbol. Drink twice for womb/egg symbols.

Head Movie Potential? I have a feeling that this movie is exactly what you would see if you drank everything in your medicine cabinet.

Rating: Jordan rating (3)
Jordan with goofy antennae and a Santa suit.
Credits
A Warner Brothers Film released in 2008. Directed by Wayne Coyne, Bradley Beesley, and George Salisbury.
Cast
The Flaming Lips (Wayne Coyne, Steven Drozd, Michael Ivins, and Kliph Scurlock) and all their friends.
Related Links
IMDB entry
The Flaming Lips’ Official Website


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