Posted by: Mad Ness Monster | 07/04/2012

“Hook” review

What say you, dear reader, and I journey back to the magical time of 1991?
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Posted by: Mad Ness Monster | 12/21/2011

The 2011 Edition of Nessie’s Last Minute Gift Guide!

I did a lot of traveling this year, so there is a cavalcade of insane things you could delight your friends with for the holiday season!  Let’s get right into it, shall we?

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Posted by: Mad Ness Monster | 06/08/2011

“Masters of the Universe” (1987) Review

As we head on into the summer of 2011, people of a certain age are likely dreading this year’s deluge of terrible live-action/CGI movies based off cartoons they watched as children.  In particular, films where the cartoon characters are somehow transported to our world and get into wacky adventures, eating our food and misunderstanding our machines and other allegedly hilarious misadventures that makes a person who grew up with these characters just not care anymore.

Well it turns out that this kind of movie is nothing new.  I know this, because I have seen one of the earliest terrible live-action films based off an ’80’s cartoon.  It’s called “Masters of the Universe”, it’s based off “He-Man”, and it sure is a thing.

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Posted by: Mad Ness Monster | 05/25/2011

“Leonard Part 6″ review

I believe that I have previously mentioned the fact that certain bad movies are legendary.  If you are a connoisseur of bad films as I am, you eventually have to see these legendarily bad movies just to satisfy your curiosity.  Maybe you will even reevaluate a bad film, realize it might actually be a hidden treasure worthy of a cult audience.

That’s… not the case with “Leonard Part Six”.  It’s not as bad as I’d been led to expect, but it’s still pretty bad.

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Posted by: Mad Ness Monster | 05/11/2011

“Cool As Ice” review

“Cool As Ice”, better known as “The Vanilla Ice Movie” looks like it’d be the perfect movie for (to borrow a phrase) Bad Movie Night.  You and your friends come together, make popcorn, and lay down the snark on this unsuspecting pop culture oddity.  But then, you actually sit down and watch it.
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Posted by: Mad Ness Monster | 04/27/2011

“The Daydreamer” (1966) review

So about five minutes into the credits of Rankin/Bass’ heavily fictionalized account of the early days of Hans Christian Andersen, I started to wonder why it is that so very few children’s films from the past have, as it were, floated to the surface of the vast sea of kid movies.

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Posted by: Mad Ness Monster | 04/12/2011

“Here Comes Peter Cottontail”

There are many reasons why I love the old Rankin/Bass holiday specials, but the main one is this.  They are at once as reliable and cuddly-soft as your favorite old sweatshirt — and completely insane.  You probably wouldn’t have an evil snow-wizard AND a failing circus in your movie about Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, but our boys Arthur and Jules would.  Even their more beloved and less obscure specials have such surreality as the Island of Misfit Toys, the Miser Brothers, and the Kringle family in them.  I’m going to venture a guess as to why and say, the 60s.

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Posted by: Mad Ness Monster | 03/30/2011

“The Easter Bunny is Comin’ to Town!”

A sequel of sorts to their far, far better-known “Santa Claus is Coming to Town”, as if the title wasn’t a clue, this Rankin/Bass special attempts to give a mythology and back-story to the Easter Bunny.  I can promise you, this version of the Easter Bunny does not poop jelly beans.

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Posted by: Mad Ness Monster | 03/16/2011

“The Peanut Butter Solution” review

This is the movie you saw as a child where the kid loses all his hair, uses a magic potion given to him by two dead hobos to grow it back, and gets something wrong in the potion so his hair won’t stop growing and growing.  The whole thing is viewable on Google Video and I suggest you take an afternoon and watch it, just to stop it from haunting your memory any longer.  No need to thank me; that’s why I’m here.
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Posted by: Mad Ness Monster | 03/02/2011

Never Mind The Hunger Games, Here’s “Solarbabies”!

Without a doubt, this is the best post-apocalyptic roller-skating and breakdancing film about a boy and his alien buddy you will ever see.
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